(A Literary Agency That Would Make Bukowski Blush)
🧞♀️⚡ "YOUR MANUSCRIPT ISN’T REJECTED—IT’S JUST TOO HOT FOR TRADITIONAL PUBLISHING." ⚡🧞♀️
At Babel Fish Literary, we don’t just sell books—we start revolutions. Specializing in horror, sci-fi, and comics/manga so bizarre they’ll make Lovecraft’s ghost nervous, we’re the anti-establishment sherpas your story deserves.
💥 WHY WE’RE NOT YOUR GRANDMA’S LITERARY AGENTS
We Hunt the Unpublishable
"Too graphic? Too weird? Too punk rock? Perfect."
"If it doesn’t make corporate editors faint, we’re not interested."
Our Submission Guidelines Are a Middle Finger
"No query letters—just send us the bloodiest chapter."
"Bonus points if your protagonist is legally problematic."
Deals That Don’t Suck
"We steal royalties back from publishers like Robin Hood on absinthe."
"Film rights? We’ll pimp your IP to directors who hate compromise."
📜 WHAT WE CRAVE
Horror that leaves stains on souls
Sci-Fi that burns capitalism to ash
Comics/Manga that would get banned in Tokyo
("If your graphic novel needs a trigger warning and a shower, submit now.")
🖊️ SUBMIT LIKE A WAR CRIME
Email: babelfishfilms@gmail.com (Subject: "Here’s My Trauma Bound in Paper")
Attach:
Your rawest 10 pages (We don’t do gentle)
A death threat to mainstream taste (Optional but encouraged)
NO:
*"Cozy mysteries" (Unless someone dies messily)
*"Uplifting memoirs" (Unless you robbed a bank)
🎤 TESTIMONIALS (FROM CLIENTS WHO GET IT)
"They sold my body horror novella and got me arrested at Comic-Con. 10/10."
– Unnamed, Currently Litigious
*"I woke up to a 3AM email from Jeannie: ‘This ending sucks—rewrite it high.’ My bestseller."
– Anonymous, Probably On Drugs
🚀📚 "WE DON’T SELL BOOKS—WE LOBBY CULTURAL GRENADES." 📚🚀
💀✉️ "YOUR REJECTION LETTERS BELONG IN A MUSEUM. SEND US YOUR MONSTERS." ✉️💀
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